Sigh… so much potential.  That is all I could think of when the movie wrapped up. A high concept, an R-rating, all you need to make a classic nature-run-amok exploitation B-movie. Instead, we had an hour and a half wasted.

No one likes this kind of movie more than me. No one wanted to like this movie more than me. I need violent exploitation films like the eponymous bear needs cocaine. I got none of it.

Cocaine-Bear

If Tim Pool was a horror movie, he would be Cocaine Bear. Maybe worst of all, the movie has no heart. It isn’t even a good bad movie.

Obviously, it is meant to be a horror comedy. It isn’t funny. The kids are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s meant to be a super violent horror film. It isn’t. It has some blood. But we do not get the violence or focus on the kills that an R rating gives the liberty to do. Maybe there is an uncut version to come? I don’t know. There is little blood, kills are off camera, and what is on camera does not deliver.

The acting is bad, except for Ray Liotta of course, RIP. I saw a bunch of nobodies with no comedic timing or comedy chops. The script didn’t help. I found it idiotic. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know what kind of comedy horror film it is supposed to be. It ain’t. Look to Tucker & Dale vs. Evil for the gold standard for how to pull his kind of film off.

Cocaine-Bear

I feel like I wasted my time. I could have better spent my time watching my dog lick her paw.

Last but not least. The bear is CGI. I’m glad that we can still see movies like this slip out to the theater but this one committed the worst of all movie sins. It bored me.

They get some props for at least making an attempt and making the movie. That’s it.

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3 Comments

  1. James says:

    Eh,I saw it and though did not consider great glad I saw it and if it plays in a local theater around since the 1920’s will see again.I thought they did a good job with the cgi bear.

    I do admit with just a little work this movie could have been great/epic ect.,wish that had happened,still,I liked it well enough but guess me standards are lowering given the junk hollywood is now known for putting out.

    Tis available for free streaming (in HD) to those who want to give it a shot without taking time/monies to go to the theater,will drop a link if any interested.

    Like

  2. ptmn says:

    After seeing this review, I skipped on it and saw Creed III instead. Maybe I’ll watch it when it comes out on Netflix. I’m interested in seeing what a coke’d up bear looks like. Too bad they didn’t set the scene up in Alaska, a coke’d up Kodiak brown bear woukd be more interesting.

    Like

    1. Shawn says:

      you get very little coked up bear or bear at all

      Like

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